Plans for Building a Christian Home - Psalm 127
Introduction
Often in Christian weddings this Psalm has been
read. Primarily it is read because of the very first verse, "Except the
Lord build a house, they labor in vain that build it." A young couple
setting out on the journey of life together are about to be caught up in
the unending work of building a home. Using the imagery of building a
house, let's look at the important aspects that are needed.
I
suppose it would have been good if I had invited everyone to wear your
work clothes to the service so that we could join in and build a home
together; but, even so, join with me now as we look at building a
Christian home.
I. The foundation
Without question, the
absolute most important aspect of a building is the foundation and it is
true when it comes to building the home. Hear the Apostle Paul as he
instructs us about the foundation.
"Another foundation can no man lay than that which is laid which is Christ Jesus." 1 Corinthians 3:11
Jesus
is the foundation upon which you can build a life, a career, a
business, but especially a home. When Jesus closed out the Sermon on the
Mount, He focused our attention on two men, each of whom went out to
build his house. One, as you remember the parable, built his house on
the sand and the rains came, and the floods descended and beat upon the
house and it fell, crumbled, because it was built upon sand.
The
other man built his house on the rock. The solid foundation of a rock.
This house was also subjected to winds, water, and rains, but it stood
because it was built upon the solid foundation.
II. Add some walls
To
the foundation of Jesus Christ, now add some walls that will give
structure to your home. What kind of walls? Well, it's only a small home
so let's just erect four walls.
A. Communication
Depending
upon who you listen to, talk to, or read their studies, there are
various reasons why people end their marriages with divorce. In the
evaluation oftentimes, if not most of the time, communication is
referred to. Or, more often than not, it is the lack of communication.
I
can not recall the number of times that a couple or one of the partners
has said to me, "We just don't communicate." If you will notice, when
sin came into the home of the first family in Genesis 3, immediately
there was a breakdown in the communication, in the connectedness between
man and wife, the couple, and the Lord.
Just listen to them as
God speaks to Adam and Adam says, "The woman thou gavest me ..."
Immediately he begins to stop communicating and starts blaming. Then the
woman says, "The snake came ..." and he beguiled her. Oftentimes our
self-centeredness or our sin-affected selfishness begins to warp our
communication and we start pointing and blaming.
At times we think
we are not communicating when we are communicating effectively. I've
often told couples that, at times the loudest things you will ever say
will be in silence and you are communicating. You may be communicating
negative things, such as "I don't want to have anything to do with you"
or "You're not worth me responding to." Negative things that are
belittling and hurtful, even in silence. But a wall of communication
needs to be erected so that there will be an openness of not only words,
verbage, but of care and feelings and touch and concerns.
B. Trust
Think
about it. No relationship can last without trust. It doesn't matter if
it is a business relationship, or a treaty between countries, or a
contract called marriage, or a living, loving relationship with God, it
is built on trust. You can have a contract that is a stack of paper a
foot thick and the lawyers could hide in the middle of it one little
weasel clause that changes it all, and it does not last because of the
lack of trust.
It is vital for the long-term existence of a home
that a wall of trust stand. Husbands and wives need to find some way,
day by day, to let their companion know they are trustworthy - - "You
can trust me."
C. Fun
For lack of a better term, I use the
word fun simply to express the enjoyment of a relationship that God
intended to be filled with delight. "A merry heart doeth good like a
medicine," the writer of Proverbs tells us. He also tells us that "a man
who finds a wife, finds a good thing." He is right! God intended for
the relationship of marriage to be filled with His blessings.
I've
never seen a couple desire to get married who detested each other and
did not enjoy each other. But, I have seen those who, after a few years,
at best are just trying to endure rather than trying to enjoy. God has
something better in mind than just painful endurance. He wants you to
enjoy one another.
D. Flexibility
This wall is a movable
wall. This wall is the wall of grace and mercy. It is the injection into
your marriage that you will be sensitive to each others' needs and the
changes that take place in your lives. There are times when you need to
be extremely close to each other, and other times when you need to give
space. The wall of flexibility recognizes that each day you are somewhat
a different person. The pressures of life change from day to day. The
physical needs and the level of energy changes from day to day. Your
understanding, your
patience, your responsiveness, all ebb and
flow in a manner in which the husband and wife need to be aware and
sensitive and gracious toward one another.
III. Now, let's add a roof
I
recognize Peter is not talking about a physical roof, like on a house
or a church, but listen to this marvelous verse in I Peter 4:8, "And
above all things ..." and just for the imagery, look at the home we are
trying to build with a foundation of Christ, the walls, and now the roof
- - "And above all things, have fervent love one for another." Paul
would tell us in the great love chapter, I Corinthians 13, that "love
never faileth." Overarching all of your life's experiences in
relationships, challenges, dreams, and difficulties, "have fervent love
one for another."
When Paul said, "love never faileth," he knew
that everything else would fail. There are times when you don't have
enough patience, or enough understanding, or enough strength, or enough
wisdom - - you may not have enough resources, enough money, enough time,
and on and on we live with the limitations of life, but we can keep on
loving!
Conclusion
It may look fairly simple. The plans
are not elaborate for this little home, but it will take you a lifetime
to construct it. Remember this, that the Lord Himself is the designer.
He envisioned the home and He alone can help you build it.
